Off - some!!!

I know myself haven't update my blog much and its because I don't have a patience to sit down and write down my thoughts. I am really lacking of time. So much of stuffs to do, but badly HAVEN'T TOUCH ON ANYTHING YET!!!


Currently listening to Devathai (Angel) by Sasi The Don ft Jaclyn Victor..


Yeah, this time its gonna be a long long post. Been a while since I post something here. Like I said, I was busy. *damn typical reason, I know*


Firstly, all I wanted to say that I really really having awesome means I really meant EFFING AWESOME!
They're SUCH A SWEETHEARTS..


Whose friends are always there when you're in trouble, calls you, consults you and say with a comfy voice "Everything will be fine", whose friend cares when you're in dilemma, whose friend spend their precious times to talk with you as soon as a message you send to them by saying "I need to talk with you", whose friend send a birthday card all the way from another country because for them you're a part of their family, whose friend really understand how desperate you are to achieve what you really wants, whose friend teases you like nobody's business, whose friend calls you with all kind of weird nick names "Coconut, Cow, China lembu, Vimmy, Momo..." and whose friend makes you realise that you're 20 years old, you have to do everything by yourself, not depending on others because he believe that you're capable to do anything by yourself and yeah whose friends is there for you, always? But mine does. A part of me.
My hommies. Truely, deeply, and madly in love with my true friends.

A card, all the way from India, planned by Aneshaa and Dinesh. I really never expect this from her actually. I surprised with what she have done, because till now nobody does this to me.
Those courage words, makes me feel better whenever I read the card again and again. She is such a sweethearts =)
And yeah Dinesh, who really insists to ask my house address, *am not joking* I thought he really wants to come my house. That is the reason he asked for my house address.  LOL. The way he said, really made me so.
An undescribable smiles, unspoken words, makes me go Awwwww ...




EFFED UP
Then, when thinking about the most important thing in my life, I'm totally screwed. I don't know whether what am going to do gonna makes them happy, but it will makes me happy. Am I a selfish person? Erm..
Because I believe, at the end of the day, I'm just alone without anyone, even my shadows will stop following me in dark.
I tend to forget what they have said, but I will never ever forget how they made me feels. 
Ya, this is something I wanted to say,
       "Nobody really cares when you're miserable, so you might as well be happy"

I really could feel that am not happy AT ALL. My life is not moving on the path that I have imagined. 

...and at this time, the worse part is when the person I have faith on, and I believe he could help me because ONLY HE can supports me, dissapointed me!  

All he can said was just, "I don't know" 

Eff, eff, eff!!!!

For now, I realise a thing that, not all the time we'll feel lucky,  sometimes life is fucked up, and it depends on some people how they want to change the way it is. 
So do I, thinks really hard just to make everything abit interesting. Hee 


I'm not giving up till I get what I want, am not the person who loves to be controlled and moves according to other people's instructions. 


Its time for me to get up all by myself, start a new journey, achieve what I wants and ya of course I have to say " its a show time", to show that I'm capable to do anything and EVERYTHING!