Nothing much!

Yet another day 20/10/2010. Nothing much to say about this date but ever since it will only appear in another 100 years, I simply feel to post something. Weeee.

So what happens was, as usual today I went for my maths class. Personally I hate today's class because it combined with another class. I felt bit awkward because I have to control myself not being too loud or too talkative. But I guess today am not in mood to do so, still feel miserable because haven't finish done with my past year questions. Die Die Die. Next week exam, uurrggghhhh!! 

So, we was just discussing about Trial Exam Questions plus discussed another paper in class, while I still feel miserable and soo stressed out, just felt like coming out from class. Everything that running in my mind that time was OHHH MATHS IS KILLER!! HOW AM SUPPOSE TO SOLVE ALL THESE? MATHS VERY HARD, I DUNNO HOW TO DO? CAN I GET SOME GENIUS'S BRAIN? CAN I JUST GO BACK TO PAST AND DO MY SAM?(sounds stupid, I know).

But guess what, all of the sudden I gt the spirit, don't know from where and don't know from who, I guess an angel was with me and it twisted my negative thought to positive thought. HEHE. YAY, I CAN DO MY MATHS. I CAN SCORE WELL! MORE EXERCISES!!

I feel happy in a way that ppl put their faith on me continously, and now so do I. I believe in myself. Why must I lose that faith when I myself want to do it way better. :)

No matter how much pain, hw many sleepless night but I will achieve my dreams. 

And not to forget, today how happy am I when I received a msg from Kavin saying that the post was an awesome testimonial.. I know he appreciate it alot so do I. This friendship is valuable and very precious, so better take good care of it!!! I love you Kavin. You made my day again. Weee.  

10/10/10

A day to remember

Why its a day to remember?

10/10/10, 7.10am

I was indulged myself in dreamland, with comforter around me, its freaking cold even though aircond was in 25 degree. Stupid aircond!! Suddenly, I heard my phone was ringing, and I saw APPA CALLING. It doesn't surprise me much as he always calls me to wake me up. Haha. So as usual I adjust my face and voice, answered his calls and nicely talked to him.  This was the conversation :

 Me : Yes appa, Good Morning

Appa : Are you sleeping, are you sleeping, what you doing?? (he used to sing the song to me especially because he  knows that I will be sleeping)

Me : Ya, am still on bed. Where you appa?

Appa : Appa here only, ma. Come go for breakfast, am down your block ady. 

Me : (Thought appa joking, so continued talk to him) Yes ah, appa? Wont be lar Appa. Where you? Is Amma also with you?? (that  time, I heard mom's voice) 

Appa : Ya, Amma with me only. Amma said my daughter sounded sad on the phone yesterday. So we coming to see you now. Plus Amma said you look soo thin, never get good food and never sleep well too. 

(Awwww, I was smiling and at that moment & I just wish they are here with me)

Me : Nolar Appa. Am perfectly fine here. Don't worry. 

Appa : Ok, ma. Get ready, am reaching dy.

Me : Huh? Ok ( laughing and thot it was really a jokes)

Appa : Ok, ma. See you in a while. ( I was still in confusion, whether Appa coming or not)

Me : Ok appa. ( Hang the phone and lying on bed and thinking whether Appa coming or not because it was just 7am? Why must he come soo early? Shall I go get ready? What if its just a joke?  )

All sort of questions was striking my mind that time. Hahaha

I still on bed for around 10minutes, received a msg from Appa said "am here dy", I was like really really surprised. I jumped out from bed, ran to bathroom and gt ready. It was a quick showered. Hahaha. Gt done and went down my block, and it was true. I saw my parents waiting for me. Hahaha. It was a surprised indeed. 

My dad said  "oh, my daughter thinking am joking hu" 

My mom said "yala, thats why she late to come down"

I was laughing only. (still in shock)

Had a nice breakfast with both of them. This is first ever time I went breakfast with them while am in Inti all this while. hahaha. 

Had a nice conversation with laughter and joy with mom and dad. It was soo sweet of them to came all the way.  Actually they going to Klang to attend a birthday function in evening plus dad got some stuff to do with my brother, so they have to leave me right after breakfast. :(

I wish I can go with them back Klang plus I really missing my brother and sister :)

Haha, it was really like a dream. 1 and half hour spent nicely with parents.

* cant wait to go back home this Thursday*

Now itself jumping ady...

But before all that.... 

EXAMS FIRST!!  MATHS EXAM THIS COMING WEDNESDAY!! WISH ME LUCK PPL!!! :D

Tired

TIRED TIRED TIRED

Am tired of everything.

I feel soo restless.

I need a well adequate rest!

Exams = Sleepless night, improper meal!! 

& I hate those!!

I guess my brain cells is dying day by day, 

because everyday have to sequeeze out those Biology, Chemistry, Maths and  Stats. 

Everyday looking at the same books, doing the same routine

is making my life soo lifeless.

I just cant wait for 19th of November, to finish off with everything

and at the same time wish could rewind past times back!

Am I too complicated? 

Haha,guess I am.

But now am really really exhausted!

ALL BECAUSE OF EXAMS!

Hope I still survive at the end of the day!

Wishhh....

Everything has changed.

Nothing is permanent.

Nothing can remain as it is.

And I have to accept everything.

Everyone has a wish mostly is about the future, but mine at this moment I just wish...wish you were here with me.

Recently, am just not being myself. Am not keeping myself in track. The most I hate is I get emo very fast. My tears will easily roll down. I can't control my feelings. Am getting weaker and weaker. As soo many people leaving me drastically, especially my friends, loneliness is keep hunting me...:(

Am just wondering what happen to a girl who was soo strong, who can control her feelings, who doesn't show out her feelings, who was happy go lucky girl, who can laugh till lungs out...??

And this changes is soo obvious till my dad and mom ask me whats wrong with me, why I sound weird.. Wishhhh I gt answer for that questions!!!

Here goes the story why am writing this post... 

Yesterday, as usual I was talking to Dinesh. But awkwardly, most of the talks was about family, and that moments I was really really missing my sisters. Imagine, the people that I very rare miss, but yeah now I missing these people. Damn!!! To tell honestly, all this while I never miss much any other siblings other than my second sister. Maybe because she and me close in a way or maybe we have the same characteristics. I have no idea about it. 

I believe that, distance makes the relationship stronger, and its happen in my case. As we were close when we were together last time, but now we getting much closer.

Sometimes when am back to my house, I can feel the emptiness without my both elder sisters and my brother. There goes the havoc when everyone is back for holiday. I can see clearly the wide smile on my father's face and how exited my mother is. For the day to come, I've to wait till my second sister back. Now, I cant wait for her to come back, 1 month more!!!!

Wish I can rewind those days when we were together under the same roof, share the same food, share the same jokes, share the same happiness and sadness.....Hmmmm

 *Nowadays am wishing alot larrr, soo much to wishh* lolx

Its all about....

*Continued from header*

 Its all about.... tahhh-daaaa (picture). Kavin is his name as known. Nothing much to tell about him because he is way too awesome friend for me. Anyway, for blog manners, he is known as very funny means sometimes it could be soo hilarious with the combination of Dinesh, sweet person and lovely dude. I guess because of those characteristics, he became my mother. Its sounds damn weird rite, but yet I still call him as my mother. Lolx.

A friend that I knew from the first day I joined Inti till now, it's almost gonna be 2 years. 1 year ++ with soo many unforgettable memories with him. Ask me what is most sweetest memories with him, I would say all the moments am with him and Dinesh. Most of the time, I used to hang out with Dinesh and Kavin and yeah they both really hilarious and I would say they both really *SWEET COUPLES* ( keep the imagination narrow, they are not gay). LMAO!!

Ok, I don't wish to write lots of craps, its just gonna be simplified and summarised stories about this dude ever since I know him. I hopes he reads it :D

A Glimpse Of Past where those sweet memories lies. All the cherished moments with him. Time can never turn back those moments, only pictures says a thousand words. My tears will rolled down when looked at those pictures and wish in deep inside my heart  "how nice if everything start again" I wish there is backward key in life!!!

2009 JAN
*Unfortunately* I met this dude. Haha. First day of class, once entered in class, I saw an Indian guy was sitting at the last row with a girl beside him. I thought maybe they both are friends but actually NO. Initially, I doesn't bothered about him and nothing came across to my mind  to get to know him. Of course, a girl originate from Convent secondary school, what to expect rite. Especially me who was kinda racist, but now I guess am not. Thanks to this batch of friends. I still remembered when Miss Cordelia asked us to intro ourselves, Kavin said he was attracted with the swimming pool in Inti and it mades him to choose Inti, but sad to say that he never been to swimming pool once also. Classes was going on as usual, and slowly I gt to know him, he used to hang out with us. After 3 weeks I guess, I gt to know Dinesh (fat), Viknesh (camel), Vinod, Abel and Shaun. We 8 of us used to hang out together and the amount of laughter we had, OMG, speechless!!

January was just nice for us to hang out and talked nonsense.Nothing much to say about it. And guess what, we never went out to any other place, it was all in Inti. *Good Kids*

2009 FEB

Birthday month... Birthday bash for Kavin.

Can see how he looks like? His birthday bash.
Hahaha, those eggs and flours. DISGUSTING!
Thanks to Vimala who was master mind behind it.
The plan was turned out well because he stayed over night, and yeah we manage to prepared everything just in time even though we was sad because we had our physics test which doesn't turned well. 
Anyway those eggs and flours on him. Yaw. But pity him, he have to run like a cockroach to escape.

Guess what? The card that he was holding was done by *hrrmm* MISS VIMALA DEVI! It was just a birthday card that I dunno how the idea came out, but yeah he said it was nice. Total randomness. I guess the card is still with him. Lolx.. It contains lots sweet stuffs wrote by all our classmates..
And the next day, we had our Bio quiz but fortunately it was *open book quiz*. Hahaha. We doesn't bothered about it also.






2009 MARCH

Important month where I received my SPM results and he was with me on that day :D. Guess what we were doing?? We was rushing here and there to complete our MALAYSIAN STUDIES assignment!!! It was toughest and sulkiest assignment. Imagine, the previous day we had fun to max because of Indian Cultural Night and was hanging out till around 4am. Kavin called me around 5am to finished off the assignment, thought can pass up before 12noon, but unfortunately soo much stuffs happened in between so we delayed to pass it up and we lose the 5% bonus marks. And in that depression moments, I got to know my results. I don't know whether I should cry or smile, but the results was unexpected. My tears was just waiting to burst out anytime, but Kavin was there and consulted me, I felt way better :D. Thanks to him. But now, I will laugh at myself when rewind those moments. Haha. I should thanks to him much wei, his advises and his courage, a smile drew on my face. Not to forget Dinesh of course was with me.

And remembered I started to play counter strike!! Woohoo!!! Thanks to Kavin  who taught me. Haiz, I guess am getting wild that time. :)

2009 APRIL

I never thought that this month was my Goodbye to my SAM classmates. But before that, we sat for our semester exam, I knew I screwed it but no point regret about it. After our finals, for the first time, we went out together to Seremban for a movie. How pathetic it could be rite ( for the whole sem, it was first movie we went for)... Hahaha. But it was nice outing with them.

And am missing everything that we did in class. Kavin and me always compete to answer Miss Cordelia's questions, some more he will count how many questions I and him answered. He also used to tease Miss Fatimah, "Did I or didn't I tell you'll to finish the questions"... Hahaha. And for the first time I said * I FELT SOO FUCKED UP* after Maths test, and it was eventually from Kavin..Lolx...Haha.

He and Dinesh taught me how to play pool too, remembered Kavin said my hand was stubborn when my palm doesn't get used to it...  Hahaha.

 Down the memory lane :]

Those pictures we took when we was playing bowling for the first time after the movie. Remembered girl power (me, Rohshini and Thenesha) won the game. 

Personally I love this picture, nothing can alter this relationship because motherly loves and cares is way too strong. 

I loveee this picture much!! When other ppl see this picture, the only comment they gave was " You all look like a happy family". Like Duh!!!

I gt Dinesh as my father, Kavin as my mother, both viknesh and vinod as my brothers and Rohshiny as my sister. Awwww-ness is increasing when I look at this picture. Lolx. 

Those moments that I mentioned above was from 2009 JAN TILL APRIL, when I did my SAM for semester.. There is lotsa of memories behind every days when I was with them. If I would write any longer, I'd swear my tears will drop. Then, followed I dropped SAM and made decisions to continued by doing Alevel where am suffering right now..Lolx... It took me soo many days to made decision, and a bunch of thanks to Kavin  who was there with me and consulted me, I do appeciate it alot. Kavin is always a good adviser in a funny way. Even though I left SAM, nothing can describe my happiness when I always received a call from him to ask how am doing and everything. It showed how much he cares about his daughter. In the spirit of awww-ness, Awwww! Could I gt any better awesome friend like him? 

But now everything has changed, when I look at my phone contacts, the only person to call will be Dinesh for me to talk to. Sometimes I feel dead lonely when thought of you not here with us. Sometimes I feel so helpless and stuffy. Wish I can rewind those days. Seriously!!!!

Pictures speaks louder than words of how much fun we had together all this while...

Even though we no more together in one place, no longer classmates, no longer college mates, but we do keep in touch like for everyday. How glad am I to have him as my bestie.

This shows no matter how far we go, distance is not a big deal for us, because our friendship is way too strong for us to forget each other. But I missed, missing and will miss those days we spent together had fun. Those fantasy is just a while, but I will cherish it for every moments. 

This picture taken when we went for Port Dickson trip just before Chinese New Year 2010. Tee Hee. It was just random because right after I took out my camera from bag, Kavin said "come take picture". Accidentally there was a long mirror on wall, he just snapped it. I love it thou. Haha

This was during Chinese New Year break when I went to Midvalley with my sisters. Kavin called and said he is coming with Dinesh to Midvalley, I said ok then we can meet up. But Dinesh *fortunately* playback, at the end only Kavin and Rancy came down. First time went shopping with my mummy, and he bought the NIKE shirt. Nice rite!!  

Finally I made it to Reggae Bar after playback Kavin for soo many days. Hahaha. I was just randomly went since I gt nothing to do. I went KL to meet these dude and he brought me to whole places around his college. The most funny part about his college was the library. I couldn't stop laughing at that moment.  And I gt to know some ppl over there. It was nice of them. Btw I personally kinda don't like that place, so much of distraction. Sorry dude!

The second visit to Port Dickson. Total randomness. Those dudes made my day :) I wish I could go back to those days, it was unspoken moments. Time was nicely spent beside beach, with the friends plus laughter and joy. Awwwww life was wonderful. How I wish.......hmmmmm....
Sometimes I feel soo jealous of myself to have them as my family. how lucky am I right? I'll always cherish this moments because only I know how much memories inside there :)

Tahhhh Dahhhh...Dinesh's birthday!! 
We never celebrate much since all of us was busy with our college stuff. But we did something that he can cherish for whole his life.. *over*. 
And more than enough when Kavin came down all the way from Kl.
Anyway, as usual I did the card which I manage to done it in 2 hours time * proud of myself*
Annndd I love the card soo muchhh!! Awwwww-ing  for myself! The card was large as his size...lolx
The frame was totally gorgeous and beautiful. The frame shows how we manage to create this fairytale with a wonderful history behind each and every pictures. 
Dinesh said he do appreciate it alot. :).. Bangga-nyaaaaa!!!

I guess this post sooner will come to an end. Hopefully, soo many stories to write but yet there is minimal space and time for me to write all the single stuff.. Anyway those pictures was really meant alot to me. We never fail made those days awesome and am grateful of it. Is always like whereever they are, the moment of course its funny. Am always a happy child when being with you'll.  BUT NOW......

All I wish 

is just

wish you were here with me!!!
to collect back those memories and 
create another book of lovely friendship!

And this is really special for this dude :
Kavin, nothing much for me to say,I guess those pictures plus my words is enough for you to know how much I appreciate this friendship. I know as you do it too. Just wanted to tell you since you are far far away at Russia, take good care of yourself, study well, eat well and play well too. After 6 years, you will be a successful doctor aite. And as you told me, your daughter will be a good nutritionist too:). *pray harder*      FYI, 6 years time is not a short period, but yet I just wish.....wish you are here with us! Anyway, momo don't worry, we always one in heart ya. No matter how far you go, even you forget your daughter, I'll always remember you because you are my bestie who is hard  for me to find. You are one in million KAVIN SIVAJANAM!! Keep in touch dude, all the best! Sometimes its unspoken how much I miss you, Kavin mother. *can't wait to see you soon* Daughter already missing her mother! We might not have spent ur last few days here together, but ur distance with me now, I can feel it already. I always miss those days when you used to come Inti but now everything will be just in dream. Btw, take care my mummy, stay strong man! When the world falls apart, or when you feel you're alone, just remember you family is just a call away, so your daughter too. :)

Mother with the daughter. .Awwww....

I can feel motherly loves over there. :)

I love you my mother!

You never fail to draw a smile on me when am down.
You never stop giving me courage.
You never fail to fulfill all my wishes.
You saw the best there was in me.
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach with all your advises and courage.
You gave me faith because you believe I can do much better.
Wish there is a word to describe this friendship.
Thanks Kavin for being there with me all this while and always cheering me up :)

Always stay tune with your charming look and sweet smile Kavin.
We will miss you alot!

No matter how far mummy go, your daughter will always loves you  because you are amazing just the way

you are!!!

ONE LOVE!!!